"Wherever I am..."
"in whatever way..."
"your memories are always with me"
"Should I tell anyone...?"
"or should I not...?"
"it's a matter of the heart after all"
"It's said that a world moves along with us"
"Even as solitude grows silently in the heart"
"All I have are memories"
"Your memories are with me"
"Somewhere in the heart..."
"an arrow pierces through the memories"
"Somewhere every picture..."
"dims a little"
"Some find happiness in the shades of a new world"
"It's said that a world moves along with us"
Even as solitude grows silently in the heart...
And all that remains are only memories.
"Memories of you..."
"And all that remains are only memories"
"Some months ago"
Just call me Bobby. Or B. B, short for Bobby Bedi.
A rose for a beautiful lady
I really like one thing about you. Your style is totally western...
but your thinking is purely Indian...
and... I like such girls.
Allow me.
Waiter...
Viagara for the lady... foygra for the lady.
Abolenese malenara and mulitini pizza
That'll be all. Thank you.
Well, I must say something about you... - Sir, can I help you?
Not yet. I'm expecting someone.
Mom said this girl was born and brought up in London...
Excuse me...
Hi. - Greetings. Myself, Jasmeet Malhotra
Jasmeet Malhotra, daughter of Manmohan Malhotra?
Please have a seat. - Thank you.
Sorry... for you. - Thank you.
Would you like to order now, sir?
Orange juice. - And for madam?
I'll have a vodka, please. - Vodka...?
Will it be a large? - Yes. Thank you.
Hello
Jasmeet... are you ok?
Just call me Jazz. All my boyfriends call me Jazz!
Boyfriends? - There were nine...
one from every corner of the world.
but I only discuss eight of them...
Ok. - You know why?
Actually, the ninth was a distant relative of...
Osama Bin Laden
That boy was good too.
But now I'm just tired.
These one night stands, affairs, cigarettes,
alcohol and sex without romance...
Sex? - Of course
So I told mummy and daddy...
that now I want to get married to a nice Indian boy...
But the fact is, baby, since eighth grade...
I haven't had an Indian boyfriend.
But he too was quite useless, he couldn't even kiss properly...
I'm sure you know how to kiss, right?
Your's is ringing, mister! - Yes, and it's ringing loudly too!
But how did you hear it? - Are you crazy?
Mum...
Dad, Bobby was good...
and he's like God! He's so cool!
Yes, I liked him very much.
You want me to meet his mother too?
Sure, dad! Anytime! Whenever you say. Ok daddy, bye daddy.
Taxi.
I'm very sorry for what happened! I'm very sorry.
Yes... thank you.
Yeah, I like these. - Looks good on you.
We like your jeans as well.
No sir, sorry. These jeans are for ladies only.
I know.
You want like this for your daughter. - Dad, I'll choose my own jeans
Oh! For your wife then? - Not really.
Dad! - Look, I've met someone.
My wife doesn't know about it yet. - You're having an affair?
You're having affair? Congratulations.
What kind of affair? Is it small one? Big one?
You see, I have a friend who specializes in handling affairs.
Oh yes, her side business is catering. In fact, I have her card.
Here. There's her number on the back. - Excuse me!
What are you saying?
Come on, brother. The show is over...
...Look ahead.
Are you from India?
No. From Harris Street.
That call was from Bobby Bedi's mother and Bobby is in a state of shock...
From what? The geyser? - From your daughter's behaviour!
Do you know that Jasmeet had nine boyfriends...
and she never mentions the name of one of them?
No... - Do you know that she had kissed...
an Indian boy when she was in eighth class...
and the boy didn't even want to kiss!
And do you also know that she can gulp down four-five pegs of Vodka at a time.
What?
And the wonderful thing is that now she has given up that lifestyle...
and is ready to marry Bobby Bedi now! - Oh, my Jasmeet!
What your Jasmeet?
You do your work. - Oh God!
What will happen to this girl if all this turns out to be true?!
There you go. Adios amigo.
Hello everybody.
Hey Don. - Hey Jazz.
Hello Richard. Did you miss me? - Indeed.
Jazz, where in God's name have you been? Your dad called twice...
and he sank completely... - Oops! Hello Steve.
Hi Jazz.
Don't you wish to gulp Haywards hot like me? Mission accomplished!
What mission? - It's a long story.
With half a bottle Vodka in my stomach...
I'm speaking Russian with a thick accent. Let's grab a bite.
C'mon.
Bye Steve. - Bye girls.
So what's your problem in marrying Indian boys?
That they are Indians! That's the problem!
And what are you? You are an Indian too!
I was not born in India.
I've never even been to India. My parents are the citizens of London.
Since the age of three I've been singing the British national anthem
I was born and brought up here. Therefore my attitude,
my thinking, my likings are all British.
Laila, how could I be Indian?
So the boy of your choice would be?
British, classy, smart, somebody like...
Hey Jazz.
Like him?
Our boss? Like Mr. Charlie Brown?
Don't know. It is possible...
No, it's not possible... - Bye.
He's an incorrigible flirt.
Married thrice with three different types of girls...
...which ended in three different kinds of divorce!
And he is the uncrowned king of office affairs...
and everybody knows that you're his latest target.
Hi. - Come on in.
Did I ever tell you, I love jazz?
I can listen to jazz all day. - What a coincidence!
Because I love people who can listen to jazz all day.
Here we are.
You didn't tell me your meeting is in Buckingham palace.
You don't know? Sorry, must've slipped my mind.
Are you meeting the queen?
Quite exactly her son.
Prince of Wales. - Doesn't he live at Clarence House?
Well, if the prince is at the palace...
he wants to have me drop by, so we can rush out some ideas for little charities
I'm impressed.
Sure we going in then?
No. I'm not dressed to meet the prince.
I think you go ahead.
I won't be long.
Imran, guess who I met?
No man... not Amitabh Bachchan.
Prince Charles!
I know! By the way...
Your idea was wonderful.
I'd to down four pegs of Vodka but got rid of Bobby Bedi for life!
Your dad must be angry with you... - I know,
that is why I am not taking his call
and not returning home till he goes to sleep.
By tomorrow morning, he would have cooled down.
Lucky you! My dad has been angry with me since the day I was born.
By the way, how's Susan?
Susan is fantastic. - You're sick.
No, she is fine. Jazz says hello.
Hi Jazz. - Hi Susan.
Does she know that Pakistan is a full-fledged country
and not just a cricket team? I mean,
can she spot Pakistan on a map?
Jazz, I will teach her everything.
I am sure.
I am moving in with Susan. We'll be living in.
You what?
From part-time lovers, to full-time live-in lovers.
Well, then should I personally give this good news to your dad
or will you give it yourself?
Living in! How dare you tell us something like that?
For God's sake, cool down. - You shut up!
Parvez, why are you shouting so much? Is everything ok?
Moni, please put some sense into this boy's head.
Why, what happened? - Sense! Bloody nonsense!
Make him understand...
that it is a crime to live with a girl without marrying her a crime!
Explain it to him properly otherwise I will kill him with my own hands.
Parvez, what are you doing?
So much anger is not good for you. - Anger?
He is hellbent on destroying my reputation
and you are telling that my anger is not good?
If your daughter would have done the same thing,
would you've given me the same advice...?
His daughter just got rid of yet another marriage proposal today!
Shut up! Get out...
Come on! Get out! - He is your own child... Parvez!
Come on! Go! - Parvez... what are you doing?
Go on... take this! and don't ever see my face again!
Out! Get lost!
Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake coming to England...
then I think maybe I should have...
taken the family to Bradford instead of London...
maybe then this problem wouldn't have occurred.
Imran would have grown up there among Pakistanis,
then perhaps he wouldn't have made such a mistake...
now he's ruined the family name.
I don't understand why is he doing this...
How will you understand, Parvez? This is called generation gap.
I am a simple taxi driver, not a barrister...
I can't handle such complications in life.
I'm in no better situation than you.
I didn't realise when my daughter grew from Jasmeet into Jazz.
Neither do I understand her new name...
...nor the music she dances to.
You did good, man.
Jazz's turn. - No.
No. - Come on, Jazz
All right, I can do it. - What? No.
Are you going to kiss a stranger too? - Holy Mother! Just wait and see.
How disgusting! - Come on!
You can do it.
I'm so sorry.
Marco Martini?
Don't worry about me. - He is cool.
It's 1.15 in the night and Jasmeet isn't home yet...
...and you are sleeping peacefully...
When you went to the bathroom,
I took a couple of shots of your brandy.
Very funny! - You don't even get a joke!
Not this time of the night please.
She had phoned me...
that she is going to the retro disco with her colleagues.
Why does she only call you about these things?
"Darling dearest..."
"I am convinced that I belong to you"
"The love between us... This love is fantastic"
"You are the one wrapped in the warm hug of my fantasies"
"You are the one in the path of my dreams"
"You've given my heart these stories"
"And you've given it these mementos"
"Darling dearest..."
"I am convinced that I belong to you"
"You are my failure and my success"
"You are the triumph of my love"
"You are my life and its every joy"
"It's only you in every moment of my life"
"The love between us... This love is fantastic"
Good morning, mom.
Good morning, dad.
What you will have?
She is on a liquid diet! So she might just do with alcohol.
And maybe you could put on some music. So that she can sip and swing!
After all, what are you upto? Tell me.
Yesterday you made a joke out of marriage,
By noon you defamed your parents...
and then spent the night drinking and dancing with that English boy!
Please stay calm. - I can't stay calm.
Why you are making an issue of a small thing?
I only drink during my nights out. - Thank you, my dear.
I am grateful that you don't drink in the day...
"I only drink during nights out" What bloody nonsense!
Dad, what's your problem? I drink with my own money...
Jazz, that's no logic.
Whether you have poison with your own money or someone else's,
it is the same thing. - Whatever! I'm an adult.
I will lead my life the way I want. It's none of your business.
It is my business!
And as long as you live in this house, it is my business.
I won't let you drown your life in alcohol.
Both of you please remain cool. - You don't interrupt.
Let's get this clear once and for all!
You know, dad. You are right. It's clear.
If I've to live my life my way,
then I must also find myself another accommodation...
This is all your fault...
You wanted your Jasmeet to go to the same school where the British kids go.
For this?!
Are you trying to say she started smoking and drinking in school?
She passed out with good marks... - Don't talk rubbish with me.
You drilled into her head that she must have British friends.
Now all she has are British friends and British boyfriends...
except for that lmran and Laila.
So what was I supposed to do? Keep her like a frog in the well?
You're trying to make her what you couldn't become!
Look at the way you dress.
Do you think you have the body to move around in shirts and jeans?
And when you speak in English, it sounds like you're abusing someone!
All this is your fault.
You married this simple girl from Punjab
and left her there to suffer for four years...
You brought me to London and told me that this is our new home...
you never took me out because I was too rustic...
because you were ashamed to be seen with me in public.
I know these jeans don't look good on these Indian legs.
I also know my English is very bad.
But I had to do it for you.
Because I didn't want an Indian like you...
to be ashamed of being seen with our daughter
That's why I raised her to be more British than Indian.
So... you could have told me all this nicely, you know...
there was no need to get so angry!
You are mad.
No, I am not mad.
I am just the Indian father of an English daughter.
A rose by any other name would never smell so sweet.
Flowers, vintage wine, private yacht...
I think I know what's on your mind. - Are you sure?
You might be in for a surprise. - Yeah?
Marry me.
Is this a joke? - No, it's not.
Jazz, marry me.
Isn't this all happening a bit too fast?
I don't believe in wasting time.
Phone. - What?
Your phone. It's ringing.
Dad!
So sorry.
What happened, dad?
Jasmeet, forgive me!
Dad, are you drinking at this time of the day?
No.
Don't lie, because you speak Punjabi only after drinking.
Oh yeah. But I also start speaking in Punjabi when I get emotional.
Ok agreed, it's your life, your money...
and I shouldn't be saying anything to you...
Well, if you forgive me,
there is another bonus offer for you.
Dad, can't we do this later?
At least, listen to the offer.
I want to take you and your mother on a holiday.
I cannot go. - So you aren't going to forgive me?
Is it important we talk about all this now?
Can't we talk about this later at home?
Say yes now if you forgive me, or just forget it!
Ok dad... where do we have to go?
Great. Taj Mahal, Delhi, Jaipur...
Ajmer Sharif, Rishikesh, Kedarnath, etc...
Are we going to India?
Since Shahjahan built the Taj Mahal in India...
we will have to go there to see it...
and you have always complained that you have never been there
So here you are. The offer is open.
Dad, do whatever you want to do. I really got to go. Bye.
Yes!
Do whatever you want to but you'll also have to face the consequences...
I already have
I have entered the entire biodata and also attached a photo of Jasmeet.
Now there is no scope of any mistake... Bharat Matrimony dot com.
I have looked up such eligible Punjabi boys...
that once she gets married, everything will be fine.
You've really gone mad.
You know Jasmeet, this is one of the seven wonders of the world,
but it was built by a husband for his beloved wife.
I know that dad. There is no need to act as a guide.
Then you would also know the importance of marriage.
And that's why I will show you some boys here.
I will kill those boys!
Is he going to build me a Taj Mahal...?
We are searching for a Indian son-in-law,
not the next Indian idol. - Don't worry, sir...
The next one sings better than this one.
I mean, he's better than this one... and doesn't sing at all.
What a great view of the Charminar from your house,
Right, Jasmeet?
Many congratulations to you.
Uncle, how much sugar did you take?
You know, taste gives you an idea about someone's habit
and from habit you learn about compatibility...
and without compatibility,
it's like getting a horse married to an ass...
and such a marriage will only produce a freak...
Now my calculation show me that Jazz and I have taken one spoon sugar...
which means... - Mummy, this is very bitter...
will you give me another spoon of sugar...
Actually, for health reasons, sugar is...
Why don't we leave the sugar alone and talk about marriage?
Uncle, not the marriage. You should say...
the perfect union of two socially, mentally and physical compatible people
Right, Jazz? - Physically compatible?
It means before the marriage we should...
Actually uncle, she has a good point. - Shut up... You idiot.
Okay uncle, relax. Okay, fine.
Ok... then I will remove the physical compatibility clause...
Clause?
Are we here to talk about marriage or partnership?
Why don't you say anything? - I didn't say when I should have,
Now it's too late! What can I say?
Good joke. Which reminds me, sense of humour. Very important.
We should go and watch a comedy film in the evening...
and I will note down the things which make Jazz laugh
and Jazz will note what makes me laugh...
and based on that analysis with a float chart...
My child, if your mom and dad would have done so much analysis,
then you would have never been born.
I like him!
What? My marriage!
My marriage!
What happened to him? - He is a big fan of the Indian soaps.
You bloody broker!
Why did this broker run away from here?
It seems like there is a conspiracy of a vamp...
Do these people like me...?
What's wrong with this guy?
You... you are Amod and he... he is Dilip Mehra, right?
Yes I am Dilip Mehra!
But I think you have not been able to recognize me.
Because... because...
Because! - Complete your sentence!
Because I've had plastic surgery done on me thrice.
Even then you look like this?
What do you mean? What do you mean?
- What are you doing?
How easily you asked me what am I doing...
I am shocked... shocked!
India tour, eligible grooms... all done.
...can we go home now? - Wait, one last stop, then full stop!
My village, my soil...
Great!
Punjab is truly the food supplier of India...
Look at the greenery all around.
Can you drive a little slow?
Brother, if I drive slowly, then I will feel sleepy...
after that I cannot guarantee the safety of you people.
Look ahead!
Why don't you put the window up and start the AC...
all this dust is going into our lungs.
Sorry ji, actually I forgot to get the AC repaired...
and don't you worry about the dust,
eventually all of us will turn into dust.
Look ahead...
There is a speed breaker ahead.
Try telling the breaker to reduce my speed...
Has your speed been finally broken?
You do something.
No, all that's fine, but you tell me that how do I make it direct...
Come on. - Don't irritate me!
Whatever needs to be done has to be done by him. Sit quietly!
You are telling me everything but you are not telling me how to direct...
You can watch the fun but not offer any help!
Can't you keep your mouth shut?
Please tell me how to direct.
Are you going to help me direct?
Now I got the man to direct it.
Thank you, young man.
Stop, stop the car...
Girls come here... they are here... come!
Manmohan, tell me more... How's London?
First class. This house reminds me of the good old days.
Please come.
Go introduce yourself to everyone.
Mama, have you seen the size of the family?
The introductions will take all night.
Come, Jasmeet...
Bebe! - Our Manmohan.
Long live, my son. Long live. I am seeing you after such a long time.
Bebo and Jasmeet have also come.
Jasmeet is such a common name that every second child has it.
Go away... - That is why I call her Jazz.
Jazz, come here.
Come here, my daughter. She is all grown up!
She is Jasmeet.
She's become so tall...
she was so small when she left... She is so beautiful.
She is my daughter.
Come on, be part of us. Smile.
Wonderful place. Thanks, dad.
Stupid.
Mummy and daddy are downstairs. Give it to mummy...
I have already done that. This is for you...
If this is the size of the welcome drink, what will it be for lunch?
Eat well, my son. Ghee doesn't make you fat.
And give lots to Jazz...
She looks as if she has no life left in her.
Now eat it, see how tasty this ghee makes the food...
This is going to be so tasty.
Your hair is so coarse.
Don't you get ghee in London?
Wow, mom. Having fun?
What is going on? - Can't you see...
how coarse the hair has become. I am applying ghee to it.
Is it your hobby to add ghee to everything?
You were applying ghee to chappatis during lunch...
Ghee gives tastes to the rotis and also makes your hair healthy.
Very good, my Punjabi mother.
Does this stink go away? - Yes it does...
What stink? This is a fragrance! Wow!
What happened to her?
I'm going to kill you all!
If I knew you're staying here,
then I would not have come drunk like this.
By the way, I always come like this, climbing the terrace.
My name is Arjun and what's your name?
Are you deaf?
I am ok with that too!
My mistake.
Stupid, moron.
If it's taking so long just to know her name...
wonder how long will it take to make her mine?
At least tell me your name.
Bebe, London is like...
Open the freezer, remove butter, cut it, apply on the bread and eat it.
Jazz come here.
What dad? - Try some Desi butter.
Take it, my daughter... - All fresh! I'm really liking this.
What happened?
Yesterday she fainted, today she is vomiting... is she...?
Oh no, mother, no! My Jazz is as pure as the Thames.
What is this Thames? - It's the Ganges of London.
There's a Ganges in London too? - There is a Jamuna also.
Excuse me, may I have some more please?
Come Manu come...
What's up, brother? Lungi... freedom of movement?
I was in a mood to wear a lungi.
Try some country liquor...
ok... that is fine... make one...
I have seen many striped shorts but
never seen one with criss crossed stripes...
This is the flag of England... Union Jack.
The flag may be of any country, but the pole should be Indian!
Let me go and get the lungi first...
It's mine.
It should have been my lover's scarf but instead...
the lungi of her father came flying. Bad luck.
Thank you. - Bring it.
It is so windy today... thank you.
Be careful...
He is... - My son Arjun.
And this is my friend from England, Manmohan.
Bless you, son. I know him
He is the same guy who repaired our car yesterday
and today he returned my lungi... He is a very good boy.
Sorry
Well, I will leave now. Namastey.
Be careful...
Do you believe me now? This is my house.
Tell me your name now...
name... name...
Jazz. - Onion?
No, tell me the name your parents have given you...
and not the name of eatables.
Name? - Jasmeet.
Manu, what are you thinking?
I think that I should steal your son at the first opportunity I get
and marry him off to my daughter.
Jaswant get one more glass of buttermilk!
You like the girl?
Idiot, remove the sunglasses and take a good look at her.
Don't complain later...
Bebe, if I don't get married to her, then I will kidnap her.
Shameless!
There is no difference between being decent or shameless...
what matters is how your heart feels.
Do you like him, Jasmeet?
Hundred percent, yes. Done.
Congratulations.
May I have a word with you in private, dad?
Yes, but...?
What happened? - I... terrace...
I'll be right back.
She's very shy... since her childhood.
Jasmeet, in front of everyone... it's so embarrassing. What happened?
Dad, you cannot be serious about Arjun
Of course, I am. Arjun is very a good boy, Jazz...
If I agree that he is good, then what?
There is nothing common between us.
I have been born and brought up in London and he is from this village.
Forget marriage, we don't even have anything common to talk about.
Then how will I adjust with him?
He will adjust... he is Indian...
and trust me, his eyes say how much he loves you...
he will keep you happy. - Dad, I don't love him.
You will fall in love with him. Give it a chance at least.
Mom, did you know about all this?
Listen... she's also right in her own way.
Tell me what is wrong with that boy?
Is he bad just because he was born here? - Come on, dad! Be reasonable.
Leave alone the fact that I can't stay here,
but this farmer who drinks milk directly from the cow,
how will he stay with me? Where will he find his cows?
Mom... it's not fair.
You tell him... - This is ridiculous!
More than half of India is settled in America, Canada, England...
and other places.
and they have married a number of Indian girls and boys there...
and their marriages... are more successful than the foreigners.
Arjun will bring stability in your life...
I am not breaking her life but making it...
and I am sure about it. I am not going to change my decision,
please understand this...
OK. Dad, please give me some time to think.
Oh sure, darling, you have all the time in the world. Think about it.
You have time till tomorrow morning...
and I want to hear a yes.
Come on... chill the beers!
Son, will you be able to adjust? - I will adjust, dad...
Your mother belongs to this village... And I am still adjusting with her.
and this girl is from London... - No problem, dad. I will adjust.
You don't worry... l'm your son... - Bless you, son!
C'mon, hurry up.
"Slowly, steadily..."
"slowly, steadily..."
"Slowly, steadily... My heart has gone crazy in love"
"I'm obsessed in your love"
"I think of you all day and all night"
"What can I say; I exist only for you"
"It could be my imagination or your magic"
"That all I can smell is your fragrance even in flowers"
"My heart has gone crazy in your love"
"Slowly, steadily My heart has gone crazy in love"
"My life is so incomplete without you"
"Now I know it's you I missed all my life"
"When I look at the sky I see the moonlight"
"showing the way to your house"
"My heart has gone crazy in love"
Hey Jazz baby! - Imran, have you sent the money?
Relax. I've just reached the Western Union outlet.
When will I get the money?
It will be transferred while we are talking...
Brother, has the money come? - One minute, madam...
He's checking.
Here it is, madam... - It's here. Thank you.
One second, Jazz. What is the matter and why do you require so much money?
Listen, I am running away from here. They are forcing me to get married...
You're kidding me.
Okay Jazz, listen to me very very carefully.
Why are you laughing?
No, it's just that I am knocking on the door of a room in my own house...
to come in like a guest... That made me laugh.
Now it's stopped.
What? - My laughter...
Oh...
Well, why did you send Sweety to call me?
I don't know how to tell you.
No problem, I will come later... - No, no...
you sit.
I mean... I am in as much a state of shock...
as you must be delighted at the prospect of this marriage.
You must have already started dreaming about our first night...
Yes, that I started long ago...
I mean, when you drink half a glass of milk...
and leave the rest for me to finish...
No problem, we will get two glasses of milk...